Closing the Gap Between Your Big Rocks

Well, here we are again, another Monday.  The last Monday of September.  Can someone please tell me what the heck happened to the year?  I blinked and suddenly we are a mere few days away from October.

Well this month we've been discussing getting clear on what's important to you.  What are your "Big Rocks" (core values)?

The first week I asked you to first get clear on what's important to you.  So many of us pick up values on this journey called life that aren't even ours. Then we wonder why we feel so frustrated or dissatisfied with the direction, quality, or lack of fulfillment our life gives us. So the first part of getting clear on what it is important to you, was to generate a list of qualities or attributes that you admire or consider important.

The following week I asked you to put this list of 7 Big Rocks in order, from most to least important. The purpose was to give you a fuller sense of just how important certain Rocks are in comparison to others.  More importantly it gave you a clearer perspective of what really matters to you. I went on to ask you to personally define what each of these 7 Big Rocks means to you.  You did this by completing the sentence "Being successful at (insert Big Rock here) means . . . .".

So you've created a list, given each Big Rock a measurable definition, and then were asked to sincerely look over your list and ask yourself ""How does my life presently (including work, spiritual practice, family, relationships, health, etc) reflect my Big Rocks/core values?"

If you're like most people, including myself, you found that there is a bit of a gap between what you aspire to and what you're actually living day to day.

Which brings us to today's post. First off, it's not unusual for people to find that their Big Rocks aren't effectively represented in their daily lives.  That's not a problem.  Welcome to life, you know?  What you do about this is now the big key.  If you were to take a look at where you have the smallest sized gap between where you are at now and where you want to be, as defined by your sentence exercise, what 2 changes could you implement this week to help you get closer to that Big Rock?

I want to warn you! Do Not make big life changes in order to close the gap without professional help or at least one heck of a proven support group.

That being said, I would ask you to evaluate each of your Big Rocks and ask yourself the same question.  "What 2 realistic changes could I make in my life right now, that would put me one step closer to being in-line with the life I say I want?" 

Be clear, this is no easy fix.  What it is however is an almost full-proof way to help you stay on track with creating the life you want. Let's be honest, if you're going to push yourself day in and day out to be your best, wouldn't it be nice to be heading in a direction that inspires and motivates you.  Remember, it's all about making small changes and working a little each day, each week, each month.  We're talking about your life here, OK, be a little patient with the process.

I really do hope this process has been helpful for you. I would appreciate any feedback you have about your process, or any questions you may have.

How Do Your Big Rocks Compare?

Two weeks ago I asked you to make a list of values that were important to you.  I then asked you to take that list and narrow it down to the 7 most important values. I also shared a few strategies that might be helpful in coming up with your 7 Big Rocks.

Last week I asked you to take that list and put it in order, from most important to least important, so that you could get a deeper sense of clarity about the things that you've deemed important to you.  In addition, I requested that you then create sentences or a paragraph for each of your core values using the example "Being successful at (input Big Rock/core value) means . . . .". 

This week I am going to ask to take a look at your list.  Does it still ring true?  Now that you've had a few weeks to sit with them, do these Big Rocks/core values still best describe the things that are important to you?  If not, make the necessary adjustments to assure that your list of 7 Big Rocks accurately describes the things that are important to you.  Make sure to complete the sentence exercise for any changes you've made.

That brings us to this week.  I now want you to sit back and read each of your 7 Big Rock sentences aloud. How does it feel? If you're like me it feels pretty darn good to have created a sense of clarity, a map of who you are and what you stand for.  Simply, you've created your vision of the elements necessary for a successful life. You've created a guide, a map to help keep you on track with what you deem important to you.

Feels good doesn't it?

Now that you've read them aloud and have a good sense of what elements are necessary for your successful life, ask yourself, "How does my life presently (including work, spiritual practice, family, relationships, health, etc) reflect my Big Rocks/core values?"

Over the next week or so I want you to really look at what elements you've deemed necessary for a successful life and evaluate yourself honestly and sincerely to see how in-line you are with the values you hold. 

I want you to know that it is not uncommon for people to find that there is a gap between the values they aspire to and the actual way that they live their lives.  In a world that is moving so fast and requiring so much of us, it is definitely a challenge to always be consistent with the values we hold dear.

Not to worry that is the topic of next weeks post -- Getting Your Life In Line with Your Big Rocks.

Remember, my goal in sharing this information with you is to help you create the life and experiences you want to experience. Don't worry about the gaps that may exist, they are just reminders to redirect your energies and be aware of how you spend your time. Next week I'll share with you some strategies to use to help you get on track.

Organize Your Big Rocks

Hope you had a great weekend. 

If you'll remember last week I asked you to make a list of the values that are of significant importance to you.  I gave you a few examples as to how to come up with those core values or Big Rocks. How did that process go for you?  I'm sure you're aware that as we evolve, our Big Rocks change. The important thing is what are your Big Rocks now. Were you able to come up with 7 Big Rocks that fairly and accurately identify what is important to you? If you're still having trouble coming up with 7 Big Rocks, please send me an email so I can assist you. 

This week I want to talk about the importance of each of those Big Rocks.  Take your list of the 7 important Big Rocks and place them in their order of significance, most important to least important. One way of getting clear on how to place your Big Rocks in order is to ask yourself, "If I had to live without one of these values, which one would I give up, or do without". Now I realize that you've narrowed it down to 7 Big Rocks, how can you possibly live without one of the important 7, you're probably asking yourself. I'm going to ask you to push yourself to really get clear on which are the most important because that is the only way to get clear and assure your happiness and success.

The reason I've made such a big deal of putting your 7 Big Rocks in order of significance is because it's the framework from how I am going to ask you to organize and assess your life.  Often times we have goals, many times not even our own, and then really have no process or understanding of how to clarify if we're being productive.  Sure you get a paycheck and hopefully are able to pay your bills on-time and consistently, but are you happy and feeling fulfilled? Whether it's getting in The Zone, having a Peak Experience, or being in The Flow, you're only are able to achieve that experience when you are living consistently with the things that are most important to you.  That's why it's so important that you be clear on what your Big Rocks are and what order they go in -- for you.

Now here's the meat of today's post.  I want you to take each of 7 Big Rocks, core values, and place them in the following sentence "Being successful at (fill in Big Rock, core value) means  . . . . .".  What would success at this value look like to you? When completing the sentence exercise be sure to include what characteristics, feelings, behaviors, and achievements would accompany success at this value.

Whether it's in 2 weeks, 2 years, or much later, when looking back over your life, how will you know if you've been successful at certain core values, Big Rocks, if you don't have a way to define them.  This process serves as a sort of road map to assure your success and accountability.

How To Find Your Big Rocks

I really believe many people operate on auto-pilot more often then they even realize.  When you actually ask a person why they do such and such (a certain exercise, or have certain nutritional ideas) I get this looonnggg pause of silence, as though I've asked the question in Latin. Then the person usually goes on to quote some article or person who told them this perspective.  But when I ask them what do they think, they look bewildered.

The above is a great example of the goal of today's blog post -- to help you understand why you do what you do. Too many of us are operating on autopilot; dissatisfied with the results, but not really participating in the creation of the goal or process.

If you're serious about making any sort of transformation in your life, whether it's to lose weight, get out of pain, make more money, save more money, or just have a more satisfying life overall, you have to be clear on what your Big Rocks are.  If I may take it one step further, if you're reaching for a Peak Experience, Being in the Flow or Being in the Zone, you have to first be very clear on what your values are, what drives you, what moves you, what you're really committed to doing. Basically what values are you sincerely motivated by, and are they your values or one's you've just picked up along the way?

Believe it or not, I have found more than one or two people who practice fitness by default. They do it just because someone told them it's important, their partner does it, etc., not because they are sincerely motivated by the idea or the benefits it yields.  The problem with this orientation to health, fitness, and wellness is that it comes from a place outside of you. And trust me when I tell you that when an idea you follow is not yours, it is short-lived and usually has merger if any positive results.

You have to see the value of a certain idea if you're going to commit to doing it and see positive results. As we all know, even when we are doing things we like, it's difficult to commit to doing them day in and day out if we don't feel some sort of passion and commitment to doing them.  Because let's be honest, committing to something is not always convenient. And unless you're passionate about a certain value or idea, you'll just stop doing it when the going gets uncomfortable.

So. . .

Take out a piece of paper and write down a list of 7 things that are important to you. Don't judge them, just write them down. If you find yourself having a little trouble, perhaps think of people you respect and admire and write down characteristics of each of these individuals. Do you notice any items on the list being repeated? That's a clue that those items may be core values that you yourself aspire to have or already contain.  You could also write down things you've heard others say about you, both the positive and the negative. Sometimes other people see us more clearly than we see ourselves.  It may even be helpful to start off by writing what is most important to you in life. After you've written the 7 items are important to you, then ask yourself why is each value important to me, what does having 'that' mean.

This is a good starting point for getting to your core values. It is a way of fleshing out what values you live your life by and why.   And if you feel like sharing, then post your list and your observations on my blog.

Next week I'll share with you what to do with this list of core values and how to use it to your advantage in achieving all of your goals!

Until next week. . . .